You don't want to lose your arse-groove on the sofa, do you? Well now you never need to get up to get beer from the fridge thanks to Grolsch's robotic beer cooler. Combine it with your remote control holster and your Robot claw reach extender and you are sorted. The one minor issue is the need to empty your bladder... I guess you could fashion a device of some sort to avoid the need to stand up.

 Google Buzz was brilliant wasn't it? The highest profile social network that nobody joined. Okay, perhaps that's a slight exaggeration. It was the highest profile social network that people didn't know they had joined. In any case the ensuing row over privacy issues, and the general amateurish nature of the launch ensured that Buzz fizzled, and Google was kicked out of the social media playground with its tail between its legs. 

Not to be daunted by its initial failure, the search engine giant is returning to the fray - as rumours have just surfaced that Google's latest social media platform, "Google Me" is receiving top priority development. 

Google's technique of releasing products to market, and then refining them over time using customer feedback and adding additional features down the line worked fine for many of their products - such as Google Earth, where the novelty value of the product was enough to cover any shortcomings in functionality. But with Buzz, Google was taking on social media platforms, namely Facebook and Twitter, that were fully-functional, making Buzz look like a half-baked idea someone had kicked out over their lunch break. 

So according to "reliable sources", Google Me, is being developed as a first class, ready-to-go social application, whose success wont just rely on the feeling that people might happen to be bored of their current social network platforms. 

If it is receiving the "top level priority" and has "a large number" of people working on it, hopefully someone, somewhere, will have decide that the name is rubbish. Google Me? Oh go Google yourself!

It was comforting to see that the (frankly brilliant) Old Spice ad, "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like", won the Grand Prix at Cannes, mainly as it was the main reason that we included Old Spice as one of the top innovative brands in our "No Apples" book. 

Old Spice in the US is ridiculously successful. Which is remarkable when you consider the rather old-fashioned image it has over here. Apparently, the ad has revived the fortunes of former footballer-turned actor Isaiah Mustapha, who has just signed a lucrative deal with NBC. 

Maybe Lynx should start looking over it's shoulder? Yes they do some smart digital apps - but they've never managed a killer ad with a man on a horse. 

When does the trucker cap become ironic? Was Global Hypercolor ever mainstream? Will American Apparel gold leggings ever be conservative?

It's meant to show why you need to have a BIC biro on you at all times, although it could equally apply to any writing impliment, mobile phone, laptop etc. Either way, it is mildly amusing:

How do you protect your children from predators? With guns of course. AmberWatch security systems helps parents keep tabs on criminal activity towards children through e-alerts. Parents can upload incidents to the site, flagging up their location and the time the incident happened. Sure to inspire scaremongering and vigilantism across the USA. Here is the viral video that supports the cause:

As usual, I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't an elaborate gag. Still once you've been named as Media Person of the Year at Cannes, there isn't really anything else to do, apart from have your life turned into a biopic. 

So before Zuckerberg mania sweeps the planet, and we're all buying Facebook-themed happy meals in McDonalds, we've got a few weeks build-up to the release of "The Social Network". The tag-line, "You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies". 

Perhaps a feature film should become part of the whole Media Person of the Year package. . .?

(Personally, I'd rather wait for Sex and the City 12 before watching this. Sorry Mark.)

Sod the four horsemen or the super-volcano under Yellowstone Park, I'm casting my vote for a Pixel invasion: