I saw an ad for My Monkey Baby last night and I was absolutely gripped. Hearing Lori and Jim Johnson talking about their “daughter” Jessica Marie, when they are actually holding a Capuchin monkey, is both terrifying and compelling in equal measures.

Jim says: “She’s my daughter, 100%”. That’s not strictly true, is it Jim?

Google has announced the launch of its new messaging system Wave. It is part email, part IM, part chat room and part social network. If you participate in a Wave you join in a mass conversation with a group of friends and can embed documents, photos or videos and the whole thing appears in one stream of virtual consciousness.

According to Google:

A wave is equal parts conversation and document. People can communicate and work together with richly formatted text, photos, videos, maps, and more.

A wave is shared. Any participant can reply anywhere in the message, edit the content and add participants at any point in the process. Then playback lets anyone rewind the wave to see who said what and when.

A wave is live. With live transmission as you type, participants on a wave can have faster conversations, see edits and interact with extensions in real-time.

Live transmissions mean no editing your witty response before pressing send. Also, the saved Wave is a recipe for social disaster when it is hard to keep track of who is surfing the wave at any specific time. One false move from any fellow Waver and a casual bitchy comment means no more invitations to Sandra from HR's parties. It is much easier to make such a social faux pas when you can't see who you are talking to. Fast Company goes into much more detail about why you should be terrified of the Wave.

If you have a LOT of spare time on your hands, watch the Developer preview here:

It is sure to terrify a lot of people - but it will be second nature to the multi-screen juggling yoof to be able to manage such a dashboard.

Everyone talks a good game, but this video highlights exactly how it all too often is:

New scripts are enabling Twitter marketers to gain thousands of followers at a time. Companies like uSocial provide services including one that allows people to buy followers. I guess fame-hungry people could also do the same. Twitter should probably get on top of this soon though - perhaps capping the number of Tweets to avoid the virtual stream of sales drivel that peppers people's Twitter streams? Or I guess users just need to be more savvy and adapt their privacy settings.

Children have long been a desirable target for advertisers - reaching them at an early age helps build brand loyalty that can last for life. Children are also getting older younger, with more spending power and more sophisticated tastes - out with dolls and teddy bears and in with video games, MP3 players and mobile phones.

CMD Selection shows marketers how to channel pester-power, navigate the legislative minefield and maximise engagement.

Mitsubishi Motors in New Zealand is giving away a free goat with very Triton vehicle it sells, in a bid to reinforce the message that the economy’s recovery was in the hands of the rural sector.
Apparently goats, like Tritons, are “hardy, versatile units which will integrate directly into existing farm operations”.

I wonder whether the Triton also has good balance and an incredible ability to fight off trolls?

*The Ikea store in Wembley, not the stadium.
As if the shopping experience at Ikea isn't traumatic enough, Ikea is now hosting Flatpack - The Opera. Each scene will take place in a different area of the store - with performers, audience members and disgruntled shoppers intermingling.
The Opera, an adaptation of 'Abenteuer im Einrichtungshaus' (Adventures in a furniture store), relates to furniture, shopping and domesticity. Instruments used in scenes include pots and pans and wine glasses play out alongside classical musical instruments and the Swedish furniture names are set to music.

Where would we be without Gillette's practical advice about how to avoid gashing your goolies or nicking your knackers. The razor manufacturer has posted an animated video online about the dos and don’ts of this precarious operation. One major don’t it misses is the rather elementary - don’t put a sharp blade anywhere near your balls! Still, our cartoon hero offers all insecure men zen-like reassurance that “When there’s no underbrush, the tree looks bigger.” Yes, but of course if the axe-man is too eager, there’s no tree either.

Seemingly, even hidden hirsuteness is now unacceptable in Gillette’s razor-sharp eyes. It’s a change in tack for the shaving manufacturer, whose Mach 3 ads normally resemble promotional videos for US Military Defence ops. Perhaps it has realised that, short of offering a razor able to atomically alter facial make-up, it is running out of chin-grooming possibilities. The solution - turn our attention to other (apparently) unwanted clumps of hair: groin, back, armpits… not to mention those solitary strands on my knuckles I have to contend with daily. Anyone would think we’d evolved from the apes!  

As mentioned in an earlier post, this needs to be turned into an app.

By Hugh Jordan