Don't panic - I'm not talking about actual doggie-flavoured ice cream, as that would be silly. Obviously what I'm talking about here is a selection of ice cream flavours created specifically for canines, although I'm sure if any humans fancied a gammon flavoured sorbet this is their chance to live the dream. 

Daft though the idea might sound, it is all in a good cause. The special canine ice cream van will be appearing at the Boomerang Pet's Party in London's Regent's Park, and other parks across the summer. Money raised by the K99 ice cream van (which plays the Scooby-Do theme as it drives around), goes to fund Berkshire Search and Rescue Dogs. 

So now Rover can enjoy a proper cold summer treat, instead of bowl of water. No doubt they'll be drinking Magners over ice soon. . . 

No, it's not a sick strand of Diesel's "Be Stupid" campaign, but an anti-smoking campaign from the Irish Cancer Society called "Teens are Stupid", comprising of a clear glass box containing a mannequin looking like a teenager which slowly filled with smoke.

The campaign is masterminded by "Corporate Tobacco Man" who pops up in differnet places trying to get more 'stupid teens' to start smoking and become lifelong customers.

It is estimated that 15% of 12 to 17-year-olds smoke. More than half of all smokers start before the age of 15 and 83% start before they are 18.

Regardless of sex, most people have fallen a little bit in love with the Old Spice Man:

Now you can try and emulate him with an "I'm on a horse" T-shirt. It doesn't make you produce an oyster containing those tickets you love, but it does take you a few inches towards being as manly as a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot.

I like getting parcels. Especially important looking ones with DHL stickers all over them. Imagine my excitement upon opening my parcel to find a wooden box, similar to the ones used for bottles of wine or champagne. 

Imagine then dear reader, my disappointment at opening my little wooden crate, and there nestling amongst the packing straw was not a bottle of Louis Roederer, but a large 2 pint bottle of what appears to be bull semen. 

Sadly my German is not up to much, so I can't translate the label fully, but there are an alarming number of cow pictures on the label, which only supports my worst fears as to the contents of the bottle. No press release was included, apart from a bent USB stick that wont fit in my computer. As PR stunts go, it hasn't been particularly successful. 

I decided against opening it, as the next step to opening it would be smelling or - tasting it. And that is not a road I wish to travel first thing on a Monday. We'll wait for the Christmas party. 

These are the ads that are served around my name on the site 123people....? I cannot fathom why these words have been triggered unless my wife has had a tragic fatal accident this afternoon that the internet knows and I don't. They makes me sound like a bit of a nutter or even a stalker, yet this inevitably becomes part of my aggregated internet profile beyond my control. Also not sure why Michael "IAA" Toedman's picture makes it onto my profile, unless there is something in fact that I need to tell the wife....

A party filled with transvestites administering medicinal shots and staff dressed as doctors. No it’s not a fetish party, it’s The Creative Method’s Christmas party.

The design agency sent out packages of mysterious creative prescriptions called Imaginatol – supposed to solve people’s creative issues. Isn’t that what LSD is for?

Motrin promises to target pain where it hurts. This shopper seems to be suffering from a severe case of 'hurty back'. Luckily he has his drugs on hand to deal with it:

From Taxi Canada.

But that didn't stop Friends of Cancer Patients handing out 300 coffin-shaped towels on the beaches of Dubai along with sunscreen samples:

From JWT Dubai.