I like getting parcels. Especially important looking ones with DHL stickers all over them. Imagine my excitement upon opening my parcel to find a wooden box, similar to the ones used for bottles of wine or champagne. 

Imagine then dear reader, my disappointment at opening my little wooden crate, and there nestling amongst the packing straw was not a bottle of Louis Roederer, but a large 2 pint bottle of what appears to be bull semen. 

Sadly my German is not up to much, so I can't translate the label fully, but there are an alarming number of cow pictures on the label, which only supports my worst fears as to the contents of the bottle. No press release was included, apart from a bent USB stick that wont fit in my computer. As PR stunts go, it hasn't been particularly successful. 

I decided against opening it, as the next step to opening it would be smelling or - tasting it. And that is not a road I wish to travel first thing on a Monday. We'll wait for the Christmas party.