You can't beat a good, old-fashioned sensationalist headline. I'm fully prepared to admit that the printed word isn't as omnipotent as it once was, and I'm also prepared to admit that digital prose may well be where things are heading - but sensationalist headlines lose something in the digital space. Perhaps that is due to the sheer amount of odd content on the internet.  

In print, several people - writers, sub-editors, editors, designers, production managers, publishing managers and countless other people are involved in committing a story to paper. The fact so many people work tirelessly to create that news item is why crazy headlines have a certain magical quality this often missing from online news pages. 

You've guessed by now that this is building up to a big reveal. . .  here then, is the reason we will always have newspapers.